{"id":235394,"date":"2024-04-16T15:04:20","date_gmt":"2024-04-16T13:04:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.luxor.cz\/blog\/?p=235394"},"modified":"2024-04-16T15:04:21","modified_gmt":"2024-04-16T13:04:21","slug":"honza-vojtko-proste-vztahy-rozhovor","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.luxor.cz\/blog\/magazin-luxor\/honza-vojtko-proste-vztahy-rozhovor\/","title":{"rendered":"Pouta a vztahy: Pro\u010d jsou tak t\u011b\u017ek\u00e9? ROZHOVOR s\u00a0Honzou Vojtkem"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Psychoterapeut Honza Vojtko v\u011b\u0159\u00ed, \u017ee se d\u00e1 hodn\u011b zlep\u0161it, kdy\u017e ke vztah\u016fm p\u0159istupujeme v\u011bdom\u011b a nehod\u00edme je lhostejn\u011b za hlavu p\u0159i prvn\u00edm n\u00e1znaku pot\u00ed\u017e\u00ed. V\u00a0nov\u00e9 knize Prost\u011b vztahy<\/em> nav\u00edc rozehr\u00e1v\u00e1 \u00favahy o fungov\u00e1n\u00ed vztah\u016f v\u00a0mnohem \u0161ir\u0161\u00edm ch\u00e1p\u00e1n\u00ed, ne\u017e jsou jen vztahy mezi partnery. Prost\u011b vztahy<\/a><\/em> vych\u00e1z\u00ed u\u017e za p\u00e1r dn\u00ed \u2013 p\u0159e\u010dt\u011bte si rozhovor, kter\u00fd autor p\u0159i p\u0159\u00edle\u017eitosti jej\u00edho vyd\u00e1n\u00ed poskytl Magaz\u00ednu LUXOR, a tak\u00e9 kr\u00e1tkou uk\u00e1zku.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jsou podle v\u00e1s vztahy prost\u00e9, nebo prost\u011b t\u011b\u017ek\u00e9?<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

To je v\u011b\u010dn\u00e1 ot\u00e1zka, na kterou je ale t\u011b\u017ek\u00e9 jednozna\u010dn\u011b odpov\u011bd\u011bt. Pokud to m\u00e1 n\u011bkdo hozen\u00e9 romanticky a v\u011b\u0159\u00ed, \u017ee prav\u00e1 l\u00e1ska v\u0161e za\u0159\u00edd\u00ed, ve smyslu, zamilovali jsme se a u\u017e se budeme milovat nav\u017edy, tak se mu\u017ee zd\u00e1t, \u017ee budou vztahy prost\u00e9. Pokud to m\u00e1 ale n\u011bkdo hozen\u00e9 tak, \u017ee jsou vztahy utrpen\u00ed, tak pro n\u011bj bude platit ta druh\u00e1 varianta, \u017ee jsou prost\u011b t\u011b\u017ek\u00e9. Tyto \u00favahy jsou toti\u017e polo\u017een\u00e9 na takzvan\u00fdch vztahov\u00fdch p\u0159esv\u011bd\u010den\u00edch, kter\u00e9 se v n\u00e1s vytv\u00e1\u0159ej\u00ed nev\u011bdomky. Ale abych byl \u010diteln\u011bj\u0161\u00ed, mysl\u00edm, \u017ee v\u011bt\u0161ina z n\u00e1s u\u017e v\u00ed, \u017ee ka\u017ed\u00e9 vztahy, nejen ty intimn\u00ed, si zaslou\u017e\u00ed p\u00e9ci. Jestli to budu vn\u00edmat jako t\u011b\u017ekou pr\u00e1ci, nebo p\u0159irozen\u00e9 \u201ezahradni\u010den\u00ed\u201c, to z\u00e1le\u017e\u00ed na mn\u011b.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

D\u00e1 se podle v\u00e1s nau\u010dit v partnersk\u00fdch vztaz\u00edch obstojn\u011b \u201echodit\u201c? Nebo je to sp\u00ed\u0161 n\u00e1hoda, kdy\u017e vyjdou?<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Mysl\u00edm, \u017ee je u\u017e v 21. stolet\u00ed v\u00edc ne\u017e jasn\u00e9, \u017ee pokud budeme ke vztah\u016fm p\u0159istupovat v\u011bdom\u011b, d\u00e1 se mnoho v\u011bc\u00ed nahl\u00e9dnout a n\u011bjak\u00fdm zp\u016fsobem proaktivn\u011b oslovit a pracovat s nimi. Ale tak\u00e9 je jasn\u00e9, \u017ee intimn\u00ed vztahy jsou prov\u00e1zan\u00e9 a propleten\u00e9 mnoha nev\u011bdom\u00fdmi strukturami, kter\u00e9 prost\u011b jen tak v\u011bdom\u00edm neoblbnete a budou m\u00edt na kvalitu na\u0161eho vztahu vliv.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A kdy\u017e to vezmu z druh\u00e9 strany: je naopak mo\u017en\u00e9 vztahy v\u016fbec nenavazovat?<\/h4>\n\n\n\n
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Jsme soci\u00e1ln\u00ed bytosti. To znamen\u00e1, \u017ee n\u011bjak\u00e9 formy vztahu proste bytostn\u011b pot\u0159ebujeme. Ale nemusej\u00ed to b\u00fdt vztahy intimn\u00ed. Tak\u017ee to mo\u017en\u00e9 je. Ale dal\u0161\u00ed ot\u00e1zka zn\u00ed, pro\u010d to \u010dlov\u011bk d\u011bl\u00e1, \u010di ned\u011bl\u00e1?<\/p>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

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\"\"<\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n\n\n

Zda je to dobrovoln\u00e9 rozhodnut\u00ed, kdy ten jedinec buduje vztahy kamar\u00e1dsk\u00e9, kolegi\u00e1ln\u00ed, rodinn\u00e9, ale nepot\u0159ebuje m\u00edt dlouhodob\u00e9 vztahy, ale neza\u017e\u00edv\u00e1 pocit izolace. Nebo naopak by n\u011bjak\u00e9 intimn\u00ed vztahy r\u00e1d, a i kdy\u017e m\u00e1 kamar\u00e1dy, tak si zouf\u00e1 a hled\u00e1 partnera nebo partnerku pro \u017eivot.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

V \u010dem se nov\u00e1 kniha Prost\u011b vztahy<\/a><\/em> li\u0161\u00ed od va\u0161ich p\u0159edchoz\u00edch titul\u016f?<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Mel jsem pot\u0159ebu dotknout se vztah\u016f obecn\u011bji a ne jen t\u011bch intimn\u00edch. Kdy\u017e vyu\u017eiju i p\u0159edchoz\u00ed dotaz, tak mnoho lid\u00ed prost\u011b nechce navazovat jen ty bl\u00edzk\u00e9, intimn\u00ed vztahy. R\u00e1di by \u017eili sv\u016fj \u017eivot jinak ne\u017e jen ve standardn\u00edch stereotypn\u00edch nastaven\u00edch \u017eit\u00ed v p\u00e1ru, m\u00edt d\u011bti a kari\u00e9ru… Cht\u011bl jsem v t\u00e9hle kn\u00ed\u017ece uk\u00e1zat, jak moc je dobr\u00e9 v\u011bnovat se vztahu ke sv\u00e9mu t\u011blu, p\u0159\u00e1tel\u016fm, rodin\u011b, pr\u00e1ci, ale i k bohu a smrti.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

V jak\u00e9 \u017eivotn\u00ed situaci by si ji \u010dlov\u011bk m\u011bl p\u0159e\u010d\u00edst? Komu pom\u016f\u017ee a koho inspiruje?<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Ted to nemysl\u00edm n\u011bjak kli\u0161oidn\u011b, ale opravdu si mysl\u00edm, \u017ee si ji m\u016f\u017ee p\u0159e\u010d\u00edst \u010dlov\u011bk v jak\u00e9mkoliv kontextu sv\u00e9ho \u017eivota. M\u016f\u017ee pomoci t\u0159eba pr\u00e1v\u011b lidem, kte\u0159\u00ed jsou sami a necht\u011bj\u00ed b\u00fdt. M\u016f\u017ee jim odkr\u00fdt i sv\u011bt mimo intimn\u00ed partnerstv\u00ed, kter\u00fd m\u016f\u017ee tak\u00e9 napom\u00e1hat ke kvalit\u011b \u017eivota.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Jak se pozn\u00e1, \u017ee vztah skon\u010dil, a\u0165 u\u017e jde o jak\u00fdkoli vztah? Je n\u011bjak\u00e9 varov\u00e1n\u00ed nebo pom\u016fcka, d\u00edky kter\u00fdm si \u010dlov\u011bk u\u0161et\u0159\u00ed pochyby a marn\u00e9 tr\u00e1pen\u00ed?<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

Tak na tohle je opravdu slo\u017eit\u00e9 odpov\u011bd\u011bt. V\u011bt\u0161inou se uv\u00e1d\u00ed, \u017ee n\u011bkter\u00e9 ze sign\u00e1l\u016f m\u016f\u017eou b\u00fdt nedostatek komunikace, ztr\u00e1ta d\u016fv\u011bry nebo jistoty, ale to jsou takov\u00e9 pov\u0161echn\u00e9 a vlastn\u011b i nebezpe\u010dn\u00e9 koment\u00e1\u0159e. To, \u017ee n\u011bkdo nekomunikuje, nemus\u00ed v\u017edycky nutn\u011b znamenat, \u017ee nechce b\u00fdt u\u017e se mnou ve vztahu. To, \u017ee ztr\u00e1c\u00edm d\u016fv\u011bru, tak\u00e9 nemus\u00ed b\u00fdt jasn\u00fdm sign\u00e1lem, \u017ee m\u00e1te j\u00edt od toho. To, \u017ee to takto v\u00fdznamuji a c\u00edt\u00edm, je ve mn\u011b n\u011bjak spu\u0161t\u011bno, samoz\u0159ejm\u011b vn\u011bj\u0161\u00edmi vlivy, ale je to moje vn\u00edm\u00e1n\u00ed toho, co se d\u011bje okolo. J\u00e1 bych sp\u00ed\u0161 odpov\u011bd\u011bl, \u017ee pokud dlouhodob\u011b c\u00edt\u00edm tento kontext, je to sign\u00e1l to s partnerem \u010di partnerkou otev\u0159\u00edt. Za\u010d\u00edt se toho dot\u00fdkat a pokud se nic nezm\u011bn\u00ed, zkusil bych vyu\u017e\u00edt slu\u017eeb terapeut\u016f.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

A ot\u00e1zka na z\u00e1v\u011br, pov\u011bstn\u00e1 ot\u00e1zka \u201eza v\u0161echny pen\u00edze\u201c. Kdy\u017e se v\u00e1s klient v terapii zept\u00e1, co je nejd\u016fle\u017eit\u011bj\u0161\u00ed pro to, aby byl spokojen\u00fd, co mu odpov\u00edte?<\/h4>\n\n\n\n

\u017de je k tomu pot\u0159eba tak mnoho v\u011bc\u00ed! Ale te\u010f m\u011b napad\u00e1, \u017ee bych mu \u010di j\u00ed pravd\u011bpodobn\u011b odpov\u011bd\u011bl, \u017ee hlavn\u011b m\u00edt n\u011bjak\u00fd p\u0159\u00edstup k sob\u011b a ten neust\u00e1le rozv\u00edjet.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Uk\u00e1zka z knihy Prost\u011b vztahy<\/a>:<\/em><\/h2>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n
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\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

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\u010clov\u011bk je soci\u00e1ln\u00ed bytost. Pot\u0159ebuje vyr\u016fstat, \u017e\u00edt a rozv\u00edjet se mezi lidmi. Abychom se stali lidmi a z\u016fstali jimi, pot\u0159ebujeme jin\u00e9 lidi. Proto tak dlouho z\u016fst\u00e1vaj\u00ed na\u0161e \u201eml\u00e1\u010fata\u201c ve sv\u00fdch rodin\u00e1ch. Tak se n\u00e1\u0161 mozek roky u\u010d\u00ed \u0159e\u0161it slo\u017eit\u00e9 \u00fakoly, adaptovat se na r\u016fzn\u00e9 situace, rozv\u00edjet se\u2026 Pr\u00e1v\u011b to n\u00e1s u\u010d\u00ed lid\u00e9, kte\u0159\u00ed n\u00e1s vychov\u00e1vaj\u00ed.
V\u011bt\u0161inou jsou to na\u0161i rodi\u010dov\u00e9, ale ne v\u017edycky. M\u00e1ma s t\u00e1tou, ale n\u011bkdy i m\u00e1ma s m\u00e1mou, t\u00e1ta s t\u00e1tou, m\u00e1ma s babi\u010dkou, nebo jenom m\u00e1ma, nebo jenom t\u00e1ta, nebo teta\u2026 je to jedno. Maj\u00ed to b\u00fdt lid\u00e9, kte\u0159\u00ed jsou okolo n\u00e1s stabiln\u011b a dlouhodob\u011b. Proto se t\u011bm, kte\u0159\u00ed na n\u00e1s maj\u00ed ten nejd\u016fle\u017eit\u011bj\u0161\u00ed vliv, \u0159\u00edk\u00e1 \u201eprim\u00e1rn\u00ed pe\u010dovatel nebo pe\u010dovatel\u00e9\u201c.
Tito lid\u00e9 n\u00e1m pom\u00e1haj\u00ed nastavovat a rozv\u00edjet na\u0161i \u201evztahovost\u201c: vytv\u00e1\u0159et vztahy, vztahovat se ke sv\u011btu, k v\u011bcem a k\u00a0jin\u00fdm \u017eiv\u00fdm bytostem, k prost\u0159ed\u00ed a k my\u0161lenk\u00e1m, ke kultu\u0159e a k \u010dasu, kter\u00fd n\u00e1m byl d\u00e1n\u2026 a k jin\u00fdm lidem. Samoz\u0159ejm\u011b. Na str\u00e1nk\u00e1ch t\u00e9to knihy se budu \u010dasto dot\u00fdkat pr\u00e1v\u011b pojmu, jako je vztahovost, vztahov\u00e1n\u00ed se a vztah.
Mezi vztahovost\u00ed a vztahov\u00e1n\u00edm se je trochu rozd\u00edl. Hned vysv\u011btl\u00edm\u2026
Vztahov\u00e1n\u00ed se je sv\u00fdm zp\u016fsobem proces, kter\u00fd ukazuje na to, jak jednotlivci navazuj\u00ed a udr\u017euj\u00ed vztahy s ostatn\u00edmi lidmi (nejenom). Zahrnuje r\u016fzn\u00e9 aktivity mezi lidmi a jejich chov\u00e1n\u00ed v t\u011bchto interakc\u00edch. Projevuje se ve form\u011b komunikace, resp. toho, co si v r\u00e1mci komunikace sd\u011blujeme a tzv. v\u00fdznamujeme \u2013 tedy vn\u011bj\u0161\u00edm spou\u0161t\u011b\u010d\u016fm d\u00e1v\u00e1me n\u00e1\u0161 subjektivn\u00ed v\u00fdznam. Skr\u00fdv\u00e1 se v n\u011bm i sd\u00edlen\u00ed z\u00e1jmu, hodnot, emocionality a spole\u010dn\u011b tr\u00e1ven\u00e9ho \u010dasu.
Stru\u010dn\u011b \u0159e\u010deno, vztahov\u00e1n\u00ed se n\u00e1m ukazuje, jak jednotlivec reaguje na druh\u00e9 lidi v r\u00e1mci vztahu, nap\u0159. jak vyjad\u0159uje emoce, jak \u0159e\u0161\u00ed konflikty atd. Je to psychodynamick\u00fd proces, kter\u00fd m\u016f\u017ee b\u00fdt ovlivn\u011bn r\u016fzn\u00fdmi faktory jako osobnost, kulturn\u00ed normy a zku\u0161enosti.
Vztahovost je soci\u00e1ln\u011b psychologick\u00fd term\u00edn, kter\u00fd ukazuje na kapacitu nebo schopnost navazovat hlubok\u00e9 a smyslupln\u00e9 vztahy s ostatn\u00edmi. Zahrnuje p\u0159edev\u0161\u00edm empatii, otev\u0159enost, citlivost a schopnost b\u00fdt v kontaktu s vlastn\u00edmi i ciz\u00edmi emocemi. M\u016f\u017ee tak\u00e9 odkazovat na kvalitu vztahu, kter\u00e9 jednotlivec m\u00e1, a na to, jak tyto vztahy ovliv\u0148uj\u00ed jeho pohodu a pocit \u0161t\u011bst\u00ed \u010di spokojenosti.
Vztahovost je \u010dasto pova\u017eovan\u00e1 za stabiln\u011bj\u0161\u00ed vlastnost ne\u017e vztahov\u00e1n\u00ed se, kter\u00e9 se zam\u011b\u0159uje na konkr\u00e9tn\u00ed chov\u00e1n\u00ed a interakce.
Zjednodu\u0161en\u011b \u0159e\u010deno, vztahov\u00e1n\u00ed se m\u016f\u017eeme vn\u00edmat jako konkr\u00e9tn\u00ed akce a interakce, kter\u00e9 jedinci podnikaj\u00ed, aby nav\u00e1zali a udr\u017eovali vztahy, zat\u00edmco vztahovost odkazuje sp\u00ed\u0161e na schopnost, vnit\u0159n\u00ed motivaci a ochotu jednotlivce navazovat hlubok\u00e9 a smyslupln\u00e9 vztahy na emocion\u00e1ln\u00ed \u00farovni. No a vztah je jejich v\u00fdsledkem.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Chci Prost\u011b vztahy<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n

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Nebo si p\u0159e\u010dt\u011bte celou s\u00e9rii:<\/h2>\n\n\n\n

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Koupit<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n
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Koupit<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n\n\n\n
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Koupit<\/a><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Psychoterapeut Honza Vojtko v\u011b\u0159\u00ed, \u017ee se d\u00e1 hodn\u011b zlep\u0161it, kdy\u017e ke vztah\u016fm p\u0159istupujeme v\u011bdom\u011b a nehod\u00edme je lhostejn\u011b za hlavu p\u0159i prvn\u00edm n\u00e1znaku pot\u00ed\u017e\u00ed. V\u00a0nov\u00e9 knize Prost\u011b vztahy nav\u00edc rozehr\u00e1v\u00e1 […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":9,"featured_media":235397,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_EventAllDay":false,"_EventTimezone":"","_EventStartDate":"","_EventEndDate":"","_EventStartDateUTC":"","_EventEndDateUTC":"","_EventShowMap":false,"_EventShowMapLink":false,"_EventURL":"","_EventCost":"","_EventCostDescription":"","_EventCurrencySymbol":"","_EventCurrencyCode":"","_EventCurrencyPosition":"","_EventDateTimeSeparator":"","_EventTimeRangeSeparator":"","_EventOrganizerID":[],"_EventVenueID":[],"_OrganizerEmail":"","_OrganizerPhone":"","_OrganizerWebsite":"","_VenueAddress":"","_VenueCity":"","_VenueCountry":"","_VenueProvince":"","_VenueState":"","_VenueZip":"","_VenuePhone":"","_VenueURL":"","_VenueStateProvince":"","_VenueLat":"","_VenueLng":"","_VenueShowMap":false,"_VenueShowMapLink":false,"twitterCardType":"","cardImageID":0,"cardImage":"","cardTitle":"","cardDesc":"","cardImageAlt":"","cardPlayer":"","cardPlayerWidth":0,"cardPlayerHeight":0,"cardPlayerStream":"","cardPlayerCodec":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[21655,8,21019],"tags":[20813,21802,18344],"class_list":["post-235394","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-magazin-luxor","category-rozhovor","category-ukazky","tag-honza-vojtko","tag-magazin-luxor","tag-rozhovor"],"acf":{"related_products":null},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.luxor.cz\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/235394","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.luxor.cz\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.luxor.cz\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.luxor.cz\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/9"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.luxor.cz\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=235394"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.luxor.cz\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/235394\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.luxor.cz\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/235397"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.luxor.cz\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=235394"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.luxor.cz\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=235394"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.luxor.cz\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=235394"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}