{"id":17282,"date":"2022-09-05T12:44:45","date_gmt":"2022-09-05T10:44:45","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.luxor.cz\/blog\/?p=17282"},"modified":"2022-09-05T12:44:46","modified_gmt":"2022-09-05T10:44:46","slug":"michal-viewegh-prumerne-zamilovany-muz-a-jine-povidky","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.luxor.cz\/blog\/ukazky\/michal-viewegh-prumerne-zamilovany-muz-a-jine-povidky\/","title":{"rendered":"Michal Viewegh \u2013 Pr\u016fm\u011brn\u011b zamilovan\u00fd mu\u017e a jin\u00e9 pov\u00eddky"},"content":{"rendered":"

Michal Viewegh<\/a> pat\u0159\u00ed bezpochyby k nejzn\u00e1m\u011bj\u0161\u00edm \u010desk\u00fdm spisovatel\u016fm sou\u010dasnosti. Jeho B\u00e1je\u010dn\u00e1 l\u00e9ta pod psa<\/a> \u010di Rom\u00e1n pro \u017eeny<\/a> zn\u00e1 snad ka\u017ed\u00fd. Nyn\u00ed v\u0161ak p\u0159ich\u00e1z\u00ed s novinkou Pr\u016fm\u011brn\u011b zamilovan\u00fd mu\u017e<\/a>, co\u017e je sb\u00edrka pov\u00eddek, ve kter\u00e9 hraje v\u011bt\u0161inou hlavn\u00ed roli spisovatelovo slavn\u00e9 alter-ego Oskar. Autor na sv\u00e9m kont\u011b ji\u017e n\u011bkolik pov\u00eddkov\u00fdch sb\u00edrek m\u00e1, za zm\u00ednku jist\u011b stoj\u00ed ta posledn\u00ed s n\u00e1zvem Pov\u00eddky o nel\u00e1sce<\/a>, kterou si obl\u00edbili tis\u00edce \u010dten\u00e1\u0159\u016f po cel\u00e9 republice.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Cyklista jde dom\u016f Jeho \u00fa\u010dast na cykloturistick\u00e9m z\u00e1jezdu s pon\u011bkud idiotsk\u00fdm n\u00e1zvem Kr\u00e1sy italsk\u00fdch Dolomit 2020 je tragikomick\u00fd omyl. Ony se snad kr\u00e1sy hor ka\u017edoro\u010dn\u011b m\u011bn\u00ed? \u0159\u00edkal si kysele pades\u00e1tilet\u00fd Ludv\u00edk. Zradu za\u010dal tu\u0161it u\u017e b\u011bhem on\u00e9 dlouh\u00e9 no\u010dn\u00ed cesty autobusem. Marn\u011b se pokou\u0161el usnout, zat\u00edmco v\u0161ichni ti o deset i dvacet let mlad\u0161\u00ed sportovci na okoln\u00edch sedadlech (bohu\u017eel v\u010detn\u011b Ludv\u00edkovy o \u010dtrn\u00e1ct let mlad\u0161\u00ed a o p\u011btat\u0159icet kilo leh\u010d\u00ed man\u017eelky Helgy) pop\u00edjeli plechovkov\u00e9 pivo, pop\u0159\u00edpad\u011b z PET lahv\u00ed vodku s d\u017eusem nebo colu s rumem. Vypr\u00e1v\u011bli si p\u0159itom o p\u0159edn\u00edch vidlic\u00edch, o jak\u00fdchsi p\u0159esmyka\u010d\u00edch, \u0161palkov\u00fdch a kotou\u010dov\u00fdch brzd\u00e1ch a podobn\u00fdch nesmyslech. Ludv\u00edka proto nanejv\u00fd\u0161 pot\u011b\u0161ilo, kdy\u017e Helga op\u00e1len\u00e9mu pr\u016fvodci z cestovky i v\u0161em mlad\u00fdm p\u00e1r\u016fm na okoln\u00edch sedadlech zhruba po hodin\u011b kysele sd\u011blila, \u017ee si p\u0159ipad\u00e1 jako na z\u00e1jezdu mechanik\u016f t\u00fdmu Astana a \u017ee by si neskonale rad\u011bji pov\u00eddala t\u0159eba o Dolomitech. P\u0159\u00edpadn\u011b, v\u016fbec nejl\u00e9pe, o tom, jak Italov\u00e9 pe\u010dou dom\u00e1c\u00ed focacciu \u2013 kdy\u017e u\u017e ne o ku\u0159eti Cacciatore na v\u00edn\u011b a raj\u010datech nebo o jej\u00edch nem\u00e9n\u011b milovan\u00fdch \u0161paget\u00e1ch con le cozze\u2026 Tahle opatrn\u00e1 vzpoura sice na chv\u00edli zafungovala, jen\u017ee onen mlad\u00fd pr\u016fvodce, kter\u00fd se s Ludv\u00edkovou \u017eenou znal z toho jejich \u00fatern\u00edho (a nov\u011b dokonce u\u017e i \u010dtvrte\u010dn\u00edho) volejbalu a \u00fadajn\u011b cel\u00fd tenhle cyklistick\u00fd z\u00e1jezd inicioval, po chv\u00edli vr\u00e1til hovor zp\u011bt k brzd\u00e1m, \u0161t\u011brku u krajnice a v\u00fdtluk\u016fm v asfaltu.<\/p>\n

\u201eA jakej je?\u201c cht\u011bl tenkr\u00e1t od Helgy v\u011bd\u011bt Ludv\u00edk, kdy\u017e ho k cest\u011b do Dolomit p\u0159emlouvala. \u201eTen vedouc\u00ed z\u00e1jezdu?\u201c<\/p>\n

\u201eKterej?\u201c p\u0159edst\u00edrala nech\u00e1pavost.<\/p>\n

\u201eNo ten tv\u016fj spoluhr\u00e1\u010d z volejbalu?\u201c<\/p>\n

Helga pokr\u010dila rameny: \u201eNorm\u00e1ln\u00ed.\u201c<\/p>\n

\u201eNorm\u00e1ln\u00ed?\u201c ptal se d\u00e1l Ludv\u00edk. \u201eCo to znamen\u00e1?\u201c<\/p>\n

\u201e\u00dapln\u011b norm\u00e1ln\u00ed mu\u017eskej. Docela hezkej,\u201c odpov\u011bd\u011bla Helga a pod\u00edvala se stranou.<\/p>\n

Nyn\u00ed ten docela hezk\u00fd, docela svalnat\u00fd a docela op\u00e1len\u00fd \u00fapln\u011b norm\u00e1ln\u00ed mu\u017esk\u00fd, \u0159\u00edk\u00e1 si v duchu sarkasticky Ludv\u00edk, post\u00e1v\u00e1 v uli\u010dce mezi sedadly p\u0159\u00edmo nad jeho \u017eenou. Mlad\u00fd vedouc\u00ed z\u00e1jezdu ov\u0161em zjevn\u011b nev\u00ed, \u010d\u00edm by ke kulin\u00e1rn\u00edmu t\u00e9matu p\u0159isp\u011bl \u2013 a Helga proto k Ludv\u00edkovu \u00fadivu op\u011bt sama sto\u010d\u00ed hovor k cyklistice: za\u010dne parodick\u00fdm vychloub\u00e1n\u00edm sv\u00fdm nov\u011b zakoupen\u00fdm d\u00e1msk\u00fdm dresem zna\u010dky Kilpi a pot\u00e9 t\u00e9m\u011b\u0159 plynule p\u0159ejde k rozd\u00edlu mezi cyklistick\u00fdmi rukavicemi r\u016fzn\u00fdch v\u00fdrobc\u016f a nakonec je\u0161t\u011b i k jak\u00fdmsi gelov\u00fdm sedl\u016fm \u2013 a Ludv\u00edk ura\u017een\u011b, podr\u00e1\u017ed\u011bn\u011b zmlkne.<\/p>\n

Odsouhlasit man\u017eelce spole\u010dn\u00fd cykloturistick\u00fd z\u00e1jezd do Dolomit byla fat\u00e1ln\u00ed chyba, to je Ludv\u00edkovi jasn\u00e9 u\u017e dlouho. Nyn\u00ed si tenhle osudov\u00fd omyl znovu a znovu p\u0159ipom\u00edn\u00e1, nap\u0159\u00edklad p\u0159i nevyhnuteln\u00e9 zast\u00e1vce u \u010derpac\u00ed stanice, na jej\u00edm\u017e parkovi\u0161ti mlad\u00fd pr\u016fvodce okam\u017eit\u011b vytahuje volejbalov\u00fd m\u00ed\u010d. Helga a v\u0161ichni ostatn\u00ed \u00fa\u010dastn\u00edci z\u00e1jezdu k mlad\u00edkovi s vesel\u00fdm poskakov\u00e1n\u00edm b\u011b\u017e\u00ed, protahuj\u00ed se, stav\u00ed se do kruhu a pot\u00e9 t\u00e9m\u011b\u0159 regul\u00e9rn\u011b pod\u00e1vaj\u00ed, vz\u00e1jemn\u011b si p\u0159ihr\u00e1vaj\u00ed, a n\u011bkte\u0159\u00ed dokonce i sme\u010duj\u00ed. Zat\u00edmco on, Ludv\u00edk, kter\u00fd volejbal nikdy v \u017eivot\u011b nehr\u00e1l, stoj\u00ed v prodejn\u011b na benz\u00ednce dlouhou frontu na karton cigaret.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Michal Viewegh pat\u0159\u00ed bezpochyby k nejzn\u00e1m\u011bj\u0161\u00edm \u010desk\u00fdm spisovatel\u016fm sou\u010dasnosti. Jeho B\u00e1je\u010dn\u00e1 l\u00e9ta pod psa \u010di Rom\u00e1n pro \u017eeny zn\u00e1 snad ka\u017ed\u00fd. Nyn\u00ed v\u0161ak p\u0159ich\u00e1z\u00ed s novinkou Pr\u016fm\u011brn\u011b zamilovan\u00fd mu\u017e, co\u017e je sb\u00edrka […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":17283,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_EventAllDay":false,"_EventTimezone":"","_EventStartDate":"","_EventEndDate":"","_EventStartDateUTC":"","_EventEndDateUTC":"","_EventShowMap":false,"_EventShowMapLink":false,"_EventURL":"","_EventCost":"","_EventCostDescription":"","_EventCurrencySymbol":"","_EventCurrencyCode":"","_EventCurrencyPosition":"","_EventDateTimeSeparator":"","_EventTimeRangeSeparator":"","_EventOrganizerID":[],"_EventVenueID":[],"_OrganizerEmail":"","_OrganizerPhone":"","_OrganizerWebsite":"","_VenueAddress":"","_VenueCity":"","_VenueCountry":"","_VenueProvince":"","_VenueState":"","_VenueZip":"","_VenuePhone":"","_VenueURL":"","_VenueStateProvince":"","_VenueLat":"","_VenueLng":"","_VenueShowMap":false,"_VenueShowMapLink":false,"twitterCardType":"","cardImageID":0,"cardImage":"","cardTitle":"","cardDesc":"","cardImageAlt":"","cardPlayer":"","cardPlayerWidth":0,"cardPlayerHeight":0,"cardPlayerStream":"","cardPlayerCodec":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[21019],"tags":[21645,50,20766,20884],"class_list":["post-17282","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-ukazky","tag-beletrie","tag-humor","tag-povidky","tag-ukazka"],"acf":{"related_products":null},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.luxor.cz\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17282","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.luxor.cz\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.luxor.cz\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.luxor.cz\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/8"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.luxor.cz\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=17282"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.luxor.cz\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/17282\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.luxor.cz\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/17283"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.luxor.cz\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=17282"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.luxor.cz\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=17282"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.luxor.cz\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=17282"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}