{"id":15963,"date":"2021-08-06T10:44:50","date_gmt":"2021-08-06T08:44:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.luxor.cz\/blog\/?p=15963"},"modified":"2021-08-04T13:53:50","modified_gmt":"2021-08-04T11:53:50","slug":"prvok-sampon","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.luxor.cz\/blog\/ukazky\/prvok-sampon\/","title":{"rendered":"Prvok, \u0160amp\u00f3n, Te\u010dka a Karel: neot\u0159el\u00fd p\u0159\u00edb\u011bh \u010dty\u0159 kamar\u00e1d\u016f"},"content":{"rendered":"

Prvn\u00ed rom\u00e1n popul\u00e1rn\u00edho autora a re\u017eis\u00e9ra Patrika Hartla vych\u00e1z\u00ed u p\u0159\u00edle\u017eitosti uveden\u00ed stejnojmenn\u00e9ho filmu s filmovou ob\u00e1lkou a dopln\u011bn\u00fd o fotografie z nat\u00e1\u010den\u00ed. Prvok, \u0160ampon, Te\u010dka a Karel<\/a> s vtipn\u00fdm nadhledem vypr\u00e1v\u00ed p\u0159\u00edb\u011bh \u010dty\u0159 kamar\u00e1d\u016f, kte\u0159\u00ed si po 20 letech od maturity uv\u011bdom\u00ed, \u017ee musej\u00ed svoje \u017eivoty zm\u011bnit. Ochutnejte z prvn\u00ed kapitoly:<\/strong><\/p>\n

Je jasn\u00fd, \u017ee to bude trapn\u00fd. Nen\u00ed mo\u017en\u00fd od toho nic o\u010dek\u00e1vat. Je v\u016fbec ot\u00e1zka, jestli to p\u016fjde p\u0159e\u017e\u00edt. Karlovi se na t\u0159\u00eddn\u00ed sraz spolu\u017e\u00e1k\u016f z gymplu prost\u011b necht\u011blo. Jedin\u00ed, na koho se jak\u017e tak\u017e t\u011b\u0161il, byli kamar\u00e1di, se kter\u00fdmi se v prv\u00e1ku p\u0159ihl\u00e1sili, \u017ee budou d\u011blat n\u00e1st\u011bnk\u00e1\u0159e. Na h\u0159bitov\u011b vybrali z odpadov\u00fdch kontejner\u016f star\u00e9 v\u011bnce, na velk\u00e9m dvoukol\u00e1ku je p\u0159ivezli do \u0161koly a vyzdobili n\u00e1st\u011bnky smute\u010dn\u00edmi stuhami Vzpom\u00edn\u00e1me na pr\u00e1zdniny. Dostali za to tehdy svoji prvn\u00ed d\u016ftku, proto\u017ee v \u010dervenci zem\u0159el Dmitrij Danilovi\u010d Lelju\u0161enko, hrdina Sov\u011btsk\u00e9ho svazu a poslanec Nejvy\u0161\u0161\u00edho sov\u011btu, tak\u017ee hysterick\u00e1 ru\u0161tin\u00e1\u0159ka pova\u017eovala jejich v\u00fdzdobu za nep\u0159\u00edpustnou provokaci. Kluci se sice h\u00e1jili, \u017ee v\u016fbec netu\u0161\u00ed, co to bylo za chlapa, ale ru\u0161tin\u00e1\u0159ka je\u010dela jak pominut\u00e1: \u201e\u00c9to savsj\u00e9m skand\u00e1lnaja antisacialist\u00fd\u010deskaja provok\u00e1cija!\u201c
\nTo byl rok 1987.
\nPrvok i \u0160amp\u00f3n b\u011bhem posledn\u00edch dn\u016f Karlovi u\u017e n\u011bkolikr\u00e1t volali a uji\u0161\u0165ovali se, \u017ee na t\u0159\u00eddn\u00ed sraz p\u0159ijde. Te\u010dka pr\u00fd doraz\u00ed taky. Vr\u00e1til se pr\u00e1v\u011b z mise v Afgh\u00e1nist\u00e1nu, kde slou\u017eil dva roky.<\/p>\n

Karel ale se svou \u00fa\u010dast\u00ed v\u00e1hal. Nikdy nem\u011bl r\u00e1d nostalgick\u00e9 vzpom\u00edn\u00e1n\u00ed na star\u00e9 \u010dasy. Nav\u00edc mu podobn\u00e9 akce v\u017edycky p\u0159ipomn\u011bly, \u017ee je \u010d\u00edm d\u00e1l tlust\u0161\u00ed. (V\u017edycky se na\u0161el n\u011bjakej dobr\u00e1k, kterej ho p\u0159\u00e1telsky pl\u00e1cnul p\u0159es b\u0159icho a poznamenal, \u017ee se mu zjevn\u011b dob\u0159e da\u0159\u00ed. A ob\u010das to dokonce byla n\u011bkter\u00e1 ze spolu\u017ea\u010dek, co\u017e bylo obzvl\u00e1\u0161\u0165 potupn\u00e9.) V Karlovi postupn\u011b \u010d\u00edm d\u00e1l v\u00edc p\u0159eva\u017eoval pocit, \u017ee bude lep\u0161\u00ed se srazu n\u011bjakou v\u00fdmluvou vyhnout. Ale v den jeho kon\u00e1n\u00ed, odpoledne ve 14:25, je\u0161t\u011b zm\u011bnil n\u00e1zor.
\nV pr\u00e1ci zjistil, \u017ee doma zapomn\u011bl fl ashku s prezentac\u00ed webov\u00fdch aplikac\u00ed pro z\u00edt\u0159ej\u0161\u00ed jedn\u00e1n\u00ed. Byl to d\u016fle\u017eit\u00fd dokument, kter\u00fd je\u0161t\u011b pot\u0159eboval doladit. \u0160lo toti\u017e o strategick\u00fd prodej \u010d\u00e1sti firemn\u00edch akci\u00ed Googlu a prezentace se prost\u011b musela pov\u00e9st. Volal tedy opakovan\u011b sv\u00e9 \u017een\u011b Kl\u00e1\u0159e, jestli by mu ten soubor neposlala mailem. Ale Kl\u00e1ra mu nebrala telefon, tak\u017ee mu nezbylo nic jin\u00e9ho ne\u017e si pro flashku dojet dom\u016f.
\nV duchu nad\u00e1val, \u017ee Kl\u00e1ra nikdy telefon nesly\u0161\u00ed, p\u0159esto\u017ee j\u00ed u\u017e stokr\u00e1t vysv\u011btloval, \u017ee kdy\u017e ho nech\u00e1v\u00e1 permanentn\u011b na dn\u011b sv\u00e9ho bordelu v kabelce, ani ho sly\u0161et nem\u016f\u017ee. Kl\u00e1ra ov\u0161em d\u00e1l klidn\u011b eliminovala ve\u0161ker\u00e9 v\u00fdhody mobiln\u00ed komunikace na minimum a evidentn\u011b ji to v\u016fbec nevzru\u0161ovalo. Hodil na sebe kab\u00e1t a vyb\u011bhl ze sv\u00e9 kancel\u00e1\u0159e p\u0159ed budovu, kde s\u00eddl\u00ed IT fi rma, kterou u\u017e deset let spoluvlastn\u00ed. Dole ov\u0161em zjistil, \u017ee n\u011bjac\u00ed blbci zaparkovali v hlubok\u00e9m rozb\u0159edl\u00e9m sn\u011bhu tak bl\u00edzko jeho auta, \u017ee se nedostane ani z jedn\u00e9 strany dovnit\u0159. Otev\u0159el tedy kufr, a zat\u00edmco ho s chichot\u00e1n\u00edm zdravily sekret\u00e1\u0159ky vracej\u00edc\u00ed se z ob\u011bda, nasoukal se p\u0159es zadn\u00ed sedadla k volantu. P\u0159\u00ed\u0161ern\u00fd po\u010das\u00ed. Kdy\u017e byl mladej a cht\u011bl s\u00e1\u0148kovat, sn\u00edh v Praze skoro nikdy nebyl. A te\u010f, kdy\u017e ho ta b\u0159e\u010dka u\u017e jenom irituje, je j\u00ed tu ka\u017edej rok, jak nasr\u00e1no.
\nAspo\u0148 m\u011bl takovej pocit.
\nDom\u016f se dostal p\u0159es zacpan\u00e9 centrum a\u017e za p\u016fl hodiny a v mizern\u00e9 n\u00e1lad\u011b vyb\u011bhl nahoru po schodech k bytu ve druh\u00e9m pat\u0159e.
\nKdy\u017e v z\u00e1mku zarachotil kl\u00ed\u010d a on ve\u0161el dovnit\u0159, v ob\u00fdv\u00e1ku cosi \u017euchlo na zem.
\n\u201eKl\u00e1ro?\u201c
\n\u017d\u00e1dn\u00e1 odpov\u011b\u010f.
\n\u201eJsi doma?\u201c
\nKl\u00e1ra v ob\u00fdv\u00e1ku rychle hodila svr\u0161ky vysok\u00e9mu nah\u00e9mu mu\u017ei a ten se je s bolestivou grimasou sna\u017eil co nejrychleji posb\u00edrat. Dr\u017eel se p\u0159i tom za kostr\u010d, kterou si narazil p\u0159i p\u00e1du z pohovky. Je\u0161t\u011b nikdy se mu b\u011bhem koitu penis nescvrkl tak rychle jako te\u010f.
\nKl\u00e1ra kone\u010dn\u011b odpov\u011bd\u011bla.
\n\u201eAno?\u201c
\nKarel zam\u00ed\u0159il do sv\u00e9 pracovny k po\u010d\u00edta\u010di a vyt\u00e1hl z n\u011bj zapomenutou flashku.
\n\u201eM\u016f\u017ee\u0161 mi \u0159\u00edct, pro\u010d mi nezved\u00e1\u0161 telefon? Se\u0161 hluch\u00e1 nebo co?\u201c
\nMu\u017e s oble\u010den\u00edm v n\u00e1ru\u010d\u00ed vyb\u011bhl nah\u00fd na balk\u00f3n, kde okam\u017eit\u011b uklouzl na kachli\u010dk\u00e1ch a nat\u00e1hl se ve sn\u011bhu. Ne\u017e se objevil Karel v pokoji, Kl\u00e1ra akor\u00e1t stihla zav\u0159\u00edt balk\u00f3nov\u00e9 dve\u0159e a p\u0159et\u00e1hnout si p\u0159es hlavu tri\u010dko.
\n\u201eCo tu d\u011bl\u00e1\u0161?\u201c
\nKarel si ji nech\u00e1pav\u011b prohl\u00e9dl, a p\u0159esto\u017ee se schv\u00e1ln\u011b zastavila za k\u0159eslem, v\u0161im l si, \u017ee m\u00e1 na sob\u011b jen tri\u010dko a jinak je nah\u00e1.
\nKl\u00e1ra se je\u0161t\u011b pokusila situaci zachr\u00e1nit.
\n\u201eByla jsem ve van\u011b. Stalo se n\u011bco?\u201c
\nKarel se rozhl\u00e9dl po m\u00edstnosti a p\u0159ekvapen\u011b zvedl ze zem\u011b p\u00e1nsk\u00e9 slipy.
\n\u201eCo to je?\u201c
\nKl\u00e1ra po chv\u00edli napjat\u00e9ho ml\u010den\u00ed pochopila, \u017ee u\u017e nejsp\u00ed\u0161 nem\u00e1 smysl kli\u010dkovat.
\n\u201eSlipy.\u201c
\nKarel otev\u0159el dve\u0159e na balk\u00f3n a uvid\u011bl zv\u00e1len\u00fd sn\u00edh na kachli\u010dk\u00e1ch. Pod\u00edval se p\u0159es z\u00e1bradl\u00ed dol\u016f do dvora, ale nikdo tam nebyl. Vr\u00e1til se tedy dovnit\u0159 a chv\u00edli Kl\u00e1ru pozoroval, jak si natahuje kalhotky. Oba na sebe s nejist\u00fdm o\u010dek\u00e1v\u00e1n\u00edm koukali, dokud ov\u0161em Kl\u00e1ra nevyc\u00edtila, \u017ee se Karel nejsp\u00ed\u0161 na \u017e\u00e1dnou dal\u0161\u00ed reakci nevzm\u016f\u017ee. Najednou j\u00ed jeho pohled za\u010dal l\u00e9zt na nervy.
\n\u201eCo tak kouk\u00e1\u0161?\u201c
\nKarel odlo\u017eil slipy na okraj pohovky.
\n\u201eKdo to byl?\u201c
\nKl\u00e1ra se posadila do k\u0159esla.
\n\u201eZ\u00e1le\u017e\u00ed na tom?\u201c
\n\u201eVlastn\u011b ani ne.\u201c
\nKarel se rad\u011bji rozhodl d\u00e1l se u\u017e na nic neptat. Stejn\u011b bylo v\u0161echno jasn\u00e9. Vy\u0161el z pokoje, str\u010dil si do kapsy flashku a za\u010dal se obouvat. Kl\u00e1ra se za n\u00edm ale je\u0161t\u011b objevila ve dve\u0159\u00edch.
\n\u201eTo mi ani jednu nevraz\u00ed\u0161?\u201c
\nKarel se nech\u00e1pav\u011b zastavil.
\n\u201ePro\u010d bych to d\u011blal?\u201c
\n\u201eT\u0159eba proto, \u017ee ti na mn\u011b z\u00e1le\u017e\u00ed.\u201c
\nKarel si op\u011bt uv\u011bdomil, \u017ee v n\u011bkter\u00fdch situac\u00edch sv\u00e9 \u017een\u011b prost\u011b nerozum\u00ed. Mo\u017en\u00e1 proto m\u00e1 \u010d\u00edm d\u00e1l rad\u0161i p\u0159ehledn\u00fd kybernetick\u00fd sv\u011bt logick\u00fdch programov\u00fdch kauzalit. Po\u010d\u00edta\u010d by po n\u011bm n\u011bco podobn\u00e9ho v takov\u00e9 situaci rozhodn\u011b ne cht\u011bl.
\nA ur\u010dit\u011b by se ani netv\u00e1\u0159il tak tragicky jako moment\u00e1ln\u011b Kl\u00e1ra.
\n\u201eMus\u00edm j\u00edt.\u201c
\nVy\u0161el z bytu a po cest\u011b ze schod\u016f si vzpomn\u011bl, jak si p\u0159ed deseti lety s Kl\u00e1rou pod hv\u011bzdami na Kor\u010dule slibovali, \u017ee k sob\u011b budou v\u017edycky up\u0159\u00edmn\u00ed. Byla to magick\u00e1 noc. Plavali spolu ve tm\u011b mezi fosforeskuj\u00edc\u00edm planktonem, kter\u00fd se v tu dobu pr\u00e1v\u011b t\u0159el, a pak le\u017eeli na je\u0161t\u011b tepl\u00fdch obl\u00e1zc\u00edch a pozorovali dru\u017eice, pomalu pluj\u00edc\u00ed mezi hv\u011bzdami po obloze. Ve vzduchu byly c\u00edtit pinie a Kl\u00e1ra se tehdy k n\u011bmu p\u0159itiskla. V o\u010d\u00edch se j\u00ed zat\u0159pytily slzy.
\n\u201eMysl\u00ed\u0161, \u017ee je mo\u017en\u00fd, abychom spolu byli po\u0159\u00e1d takhle \u0161\u0165astn\u00ed?\u201c
\nKarel se zamyslel a p\u0159i\u010dichl k jej\u00edm mo\u0159em von\u00edc\u00edm vlas\u016fm.
\n\u201eMysl\u00edm, \u017ee z hlediska pravd\u011bpodobnosti je \u0161ance miziv\u00e1.\u201c
\nKl\u00e1ra ho tehdy se sm\u00edchem \u0161t\u00edpla mezi \u017eebra. Ale dnes u\u017e by j\u00ed to z\u0159ejm\u011b moc k sm\u00edchu nep\u0159i\u0161lo.
\nStejn\u011b jako jemu.
\nKdy\u017e vy\u0161el ven z domu, dostal chu\u0165 se op\u00edt. Vyto\u010dil tedy \u0160amp\u00f3novo \u010d\u00edslo, aby se ho zeptal, kde vlastn\u011b ten t\u0159\u00eddn\u00ed sraz je.
\n\u0160amp\u00f3n ho bod\u0159e pozdravil.
\n\u201eNazdar, Barel!\u201c
\n(Karlovi kdysi ta p\u0159ezd\u00edvka sedla, kdy\u017e se kamar\u00e1di opili po tane\u010dn\u00edch a sm\u00e1li se mu, \u017ee tan\u010d\u00ed tango, jako by mu n\u011bkdo zarazil do zadku barel. Vznikl z toho tehdy i kr\u00e1tk\u00fd opileck\u00fd slogan: Karel \u2013 v prdeli barel.)
\nTentokr\u00e1t ale Karel nedok\u00e1zal op\u011btovat \u0160amp\u00f3n\u016fv bodr\u00fd t\u00f3n. A tak se jen stru\u010dn\u011b zeptal, kam m\u00e1 ve\u010der p\u0159ij\u00edt. \u0160amp\u00f3n mu navrh l, \u017ee ho n\u011bkde vyzvedne, ale on mu vysv\u011btlil, \u017ee p\u016fjde rovnou z pr\u00e1ce. A \u017ee nev\u00ed, kdy skon\u010d\u00ed, proto\u017ee toho m\u00e1 dneska fakt moc. A tak mu \u0160amp\u00f3n p\u0159\u00e1telsky doporu\u010dil, a\u0165 se hlavn\u011b nestrh\u00e1 a p\u0159ijde dostate\u010dn\u011b \u010derstvej.
\nS Te\u010dkou a Prvokem se toti\u017e takhle pohromad\u011b nevid\u011bli u\u017e skoro p\u011bt let. Popsal mu, do jak\u00e9ho podniku m\u00e1 p\u0159ij\u00edt, a Karel mu sl\u00edbil, \u017ee se na sraz dostav\u00ed v co nejlep\u0161\u00ed form\u011b. Kdyby ov\u0161em tu\u0161il, \u017ee s n\u00edm \u0160amp\u00f3n v tu chv\u00edli telefonoval nah\u00fd z rohov\u00e9 \u0159\u00edmsy p\u00e1r metr\u016f od balk\u00f3nu jejich bytu, nejsp\u00ed\u0161 by s n\u00edm mluvil \u00fapln\u011b jinak.
\nAle netu\u0161il to.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Prvn\u00ed rom\u00e1n popul\u00e1rn\u00edho autora a re\u017eis\u00e9ra Patrika Hartla vych\u00e1z\u00ed u p\u0159\u00edle\u017eitosti uveden\u00ed stejnojmenn\u00e9ho filmu s filmovou ob\u00e1lkou a dopln\u011bn\u00fd o fotografie z nat\u00e1\u010den\u00ed. Prvok, \u0160ampon, Te\u010dka a Karel s vtipn\u00fdm nadhledem vypr\u00e1v\u00ed p\u0159\u00edb\u011bh […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":15964,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"_EventAllDay":false,"_EventTimezone":"","_EventStartDate":"","_EventEndDate":"","_EventStartDateUTC":"","_EventEndDateUTC":"","_EventShowMap":false,"_EventShowMapLink":false,"_EventURL":"","_EventCost":"","_EventCostDescription":"","_EventCurrencySymbol":"","_EventCurrencyCode":"","_EventCurrencyPosition":"","_EventDateTimeSeparator":"","_EventTimeRangeSeparator":"","_EventOrganizerID":[],"_EventVenueID":[],"_OrganizerEmail":"","_OrganizerPhone":"","_OrganizerWebsite":"","_VenueAddress":"","_VenueCity":"","_VenueCountry":"","_VenueProvince":"","_VenueState":"","_VenueZip":"","_VenuePhone":"","_VenueURL":"","_VenueStateProvince":"","_VenueLat":"","_VenueLng":"","_VenueShowMap":false,"_VenueShowMapLink":false,"twitterCardType":"","cardImageID":0,"cardImage":"","cardTitle":"","cardDesc":"","cardImageAlt":"","cardPlayer":"","cardPlayerWidth":0,"cardPlayerHeight":0,"cardPlayerStream":"","cardPlayerCodec":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[21019],"tags":[18343,50,21541,21539,21147,21540,21538,18361],"class_list":["post-15963","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-ukazky","tag-film","tag-humor","tag-hynek-cermak","tag-kamaradi","tag-komedie","tag-martin-hofmann","tag-patrik-hartl","tag-roman"],"acf":{"related_products":null},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.luxor.cz\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15963","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.luxor.cz\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.luxor.cz\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.luxor.cz\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.luxor.cz\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=15963"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.luxor.cz\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/15963\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.luxor.cz\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/15964"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.luxor.cz\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=15963"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.luxor.cz\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=15963"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.luxor.cz\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=15963"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}